Nesting

I’m waiting (not at all patiently) for a loan check to arrive so that I can finally finish the home renovations we started three years ago when we bought our house. I was an idiot then and left the only full bath for last. When it was time to move in, not only had we still not started it, but we were out of money. It has sat in all it’s 1970s glory for the last three years mocking me. But for most of those years, I was more obsessed with making a baby, and how much that was going to cost, that I ignored it to the best of my ability.

Until I realized this winter that I would be spending the next 5 years bathing my child in that disgusting tub with the cracked tile. And that just will not do. It makes me want to cry when I think about it.

Of course my dear sweet hubby and I don’t exactly have any spare cash lying around since he barely escaped a lay off at his company in December. We are lucky he has a paycheck, even if it has been reduced in size.

I spent months wondering how the heck I was going to get a new bathroom without pushing us to the brink when I realized that my lovely hefty 401K fit the bill. I took a loan at a great reduced interest rate and the check should be here by now (hence the not waiting patiently).

When it arrives I plan to do like apparently other pg women do. I’m so happy I’m not the only pregnant woman contemplating tearing apart my house just before I have a baby. After we signed the papers I realized that 15 weeks isn’t that long. Most home renovation projects take longer. But that’s all the time I have left. So it must do.

Dreams of a sparkly new bathroom to bathe our sweet little boy will keep me going. Right?

No more bedrest

I spent 5 days alternating between the couch and bed and returned to work on Tuesday. I saw my OB yesterday afternoon and he said everything looks stable -- baby is okay, his fluid is good, cervix is tight, long and closed. I am to continue the nifedipine for two more weeks and see him in then. If everything still looks good then, I can discontinue the meds. He said working was fine but that I am not to overdo it. So no more bedrest for now! Yay!

He also mentioned that the boy is breech for now (he should turn soon). I’ve decided that his vigorous kicking is the reason for the pressure and pain low in my pelvis. I’ll put up with it for an active, healthy baby.

The appointment today made me so thankful that I switched OBs. He asks all the right questions and listens to my answers. And he’s funny. When he did the u/s to check on the baby’s fluid, he said, and I quote, “And there’s his wee wee.” I just about rolled off the table laughing.

I’m so relieved that things look good. I worked myself into a fit last week thinking about the baby coming early and the negative consequences that would surely result at this stage. And I wasn’t just scared about what might happen to him, I was sad for myself. Sad that the pregnancy I dreamed about might be over so soon. Before last week, I had been feeling great and really enjoyed being pregnant. I love my big belly and my crazy big pornstar boobs. I’m not ready to give up how great this feels and he just is not ready to come yet. I’m really thankful that I don’t have to deal with giving up pregnancy yet or about our baby being way too early.

The only other baby news is that the carseat was delivered while I was out of the office. I ordered it when I realized last week that the pattern was being discontinued. Rather than wait for our shower and miss getting the one we really want because it is no longer available, I found a great close out deal and ordered it now. DH spent over an hour last night reading the whole manual and checking out all the safety features. He was engrossed in all things safety. He’s going to be a great dad.

23 weeks

Today I am 23 weeks pregnant. Our little boy is growing and squirming and jabs me throughout the day. It is magic and I cherish it. Sometimes it tickles and sometimes it’s a little painful, but each time it reminds me that he is alive and well, just where he is supposed to be.

Two days of bedrest and I’m feeling much better. The pressure in my pelvis (the reason this whole scary episode started in the first place) has subsided a great deal. I no longer feel like there’s something bulging in my vagina and I am no longer conscious of my pelvis 24/7. My abdomen is still more sore than I would like but I haven’t had a sharp shooting pain since Thursday and that feels like some improvement.

On Wednesday, when I made the mad dash to my OB’s, my dear hubby had been at home all day with a terrible cold. I went home to get him and made him drive me 30 miles back to the OB’s office (which is near my work). Thursday he was still too sick to work and really too sick to take care of me, even if I needed it. So I called in reinforcements. We are so lucky that my family lives nearby! My mom brought us a stockpile of chicken noodle soup, crackers, and a beautiful pot of spring flowers to brighten up our dreary house. She did dishes and made us lunch before leaving us to nap.

Thankfully hubby was much better today and braved going back to work. Unfortunately, we need him to work more than I needed him at home. He doesn’t have a giant stockpile of vacation days like I do and what he does have we need to save for July, when hopefully the baby will arrive right on time.

I heard from my OB today and he feels that this episode is not uncommon and that it rarely results in anything “bad.” He thinks I need to lay low, rest up, and that we’ll keep a close eye on any changes if they occur. I have a follow-up appointment with him on Tuesday to check on my cervix and make sure they baby is still doing okay. If there are any worrisome changes before then, I am to go to an ER. If we discover any at Tuesday’s appointment, we will pursue further testing and explore other options. Until then, I am to relax, drink a lot of water, and stay off my feet.

Once DH got home from work tonight, I took a shower and feel so much better. Being clean and putting on clean clothes does wonders. How sad that that is the highlight of my day! I made a list and am sending him out to the grocery store and hoping he can pick up a few DVDs on the way home since I have watched every thing on our Tivo and I can only read so many books about pregnancy and labor a day.

Damn ** UPDATED

So um crap. I've been feeling a lot of pressure in my pelvis since last Thursday. At first it was in short bursts, but it got more frequent and intense until I got totally freaked out and called my doc today. They had me come in this afternoon. They checked my cervix and it is hard and closed, but they were concerned about what I thought was general abdominal tenderness, but which is really freaking early contractions, not of the braxton hicks type. Damn damn damn.

She checked the baby and his hb was fine and his fluid was good. He kicked me all afternoon so I felt pretty good that he was doing well even if my damn uterus is trying to mess with him.

The doc ordered two days of bedrest to start (I thought DH was going to faint when he heard her say that) plus nifedepine to stop the contractions. I'm supposed to check in on Monday to report back.

Please send us some good vibes. It is much too early for our little lion cub to even be thinking of making an appearance.

For now, I'm feet up on the couch with my water and my laptop, hoping to keep occupied...

**Updated to add that now that I've had time to think about it some more, I feel like an idiot. I was worried two months ago that two health issues (asthma and inflamatory bowel disease) put me at risk for preterm labor and that my old doc wasn't watching me closely enough. It turns out I wasn't watching me closely enough. I'm going to email my doc today to see what else I need to know and what comes next. I need to do everything I can to protect our little boy and make sure he gets the best start possible. I don't want to fail him.

Great Day!

For weeks I’ve been feeling the baby move in my belly. It is as wonderous and magical as I imagined it would be. Every night as DH and I watch TV I tell him to put his hand on my tummy, hoping he’ll be able to feel it too. Up until now, he just gets the feeling of my pulse.

All afternoon at work I felt pressure in my pelvis and was a little worried something might be amiss. Then I realized that the baby is deep in my pelvis. And he’s moving. Pushing and jabbing and making himself comfy. I’ll deal with discomfort if it means he’s active. On the drive home I put my hand on my lower abdomen and felt him move. From the outside! As soon as I got home I rushed inside and sat down and make DH put his hand there and sure enough, he felt it. His eyes lit up and he was so excited. He immediately started talking to the belly, saying hello. LOL.

Feels like a big milestone for us. One I’m thrilled we had a chance to reach.

The pregnancy is more than half over now. I’ll be 22w on Friday, which completely amazes me.

Other great things from this week:
• I switched to a new, kinder, gentler OB this week and am so relieved to have that all worked out. He delivers at a hospital with birthing suites that allow mom, dad and baby to room in for the duration of the stay (versus shared rooms at most other area hospitals). He delivers all his own patients (totally unheard of locally). He also dealt personally with infertility. I feel like I finally had a doctor who would understand all the emotional things that come with having a child after IF and is patient enough to help me work through them.
• My dad ordered our stroller. ☺ It’s the gift he gives to his kids on the birth of their first child apparently (he did it for both my brothers). I can’t wait to see it in person.
• We are closer to deciding what to do about childcare and DH and I are excited about our compromise.
• I figured out our taxes and instead of owing thousands as we have for the past three years (I suck at estimating our deductions), we are getting money back! Woohoo!
• We have plans to fix up the backyard so the lion cub and I can enjoy it this summer. Yea!