Monday

Yesterday, Charlie and I slept in and then we:

Got dressed (biggest accomplishment of most days)
Left the House (Yay us!)
Went to the gas station
Tried to deposit a check at the bank (the ATM said no. Boooo!)
Got a latte for me at the drive thru Starbucks (not having to get baby out of the car to get hot coffee … priceless)
Put baby in bjorn to go to Trader.Joe’s.
Bought enough groceries for three weeks it seems

Got home and put sleeping baby in swing (God’s gift to parents who like to eat or pee or shower)
Tried to put away groceries
Got grossed out by disgusting fridge.
Cleaned fridge (gross)
Broke almost new jar of strawberry jam (darn it!)
Put away groceries in clean fridge.
Sterilized pacifiers and pump parts.
Swept/vacuumed floor (thank you Dad for the crazy genius swiffer vacuum), even under the sofas (omg it was gross under there!).

All before noon. Go me! LOL.

three months

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Originally uploaded by sarahewk

My dear boy, today you are three months old. You are such a joy. At the beginning of the month you decided that you wanted to go to bed at 9 pm every night. You were sleeping until 3 am (almost on the nose!) and then waking up at 5 or 6 to feed again. You kept up this wonderful habit for two weeks, until we took you on a road trip to meet and visit your dad’s family in southern CA. The trip got you off your game and we came home and you had thrush. I didn’t know it right away but in retrospect, the symptoms did show up the day after we got home. Since then you’ve been a little bit cranky but otherwise you are doing great! You are gaining weight and growing like a weed! I think you are in a growth spurt now – just in the last few days you’ve resumed eating every hour instead of every few hours.

This month you also started standing with very little help for longer periods of time, and sitting up almost by yourself! If we prop you up, you’ll happily sit there for several minutes. Until of course you get fascinated by your hands (which you discovered in the last two weeks) and get caught up trying to get them in your mouth, which leads to you falling over. ☺ You’ve also rolled from your back to your side a few times and just this morning you rolled from your side to your tummy. At first you were confused but once you figured out where you were (your dreaded tummy!) you started wailing. I gave you a minute to figure out how to turn back over and then did it for you to stop the suffering. In the last few days you have also started holding onto objects and finally tolerate being laid in your activity gym.

Your smile lights up our world. You also babble in such a sweet way – we swear you say Hey and wow a lot. ☺ We have yet to get a full smile on film though because you don’t seem to like the camera.

You love your changing table these days. Anytime we lay you down on it for a diaper change you light up in huge smiles!
You also decided that your bath is not a torture device and have started to explore the water – stretching out your body so that your feet touch the edge to help prop you up. It cracks me up every time – seeing your little tiny toes grip the edge of the tub as you push up your tummy so it sticks out of the water.

Our neighbors gave us their baby swing and you love it. Or we love it. Anyway, when it is time for us to eat dinner and all you want is to be rocked, we put you in it and let you watch the lights and listen to the music while we eat dinner. It’s allowed me to eat a hot meal every night and for that I am grateful!

Your dad got your crib all situated and we put you in it for the first time last weekend. You really seemed to like it – you stared up at the mobile for a long time, just kicking your legs and sucking on your hands. You might like to sleep in it but I’m not ready to have you so far away in your own room quite yet. You still fit in the cosleeeper so that is where you’ll sleep.

This week we decided it was time to carry you facing out of the baby bjorn and to seat you facing out to see the world in your stroller too. It has made a huge difference! You are so curious and love to watch the world go by.

It’s so much fun to watch you develop and change before our eyes. Some days I beg you to slow down, just to let us enjoy you a little longer before you get up and walk away from us and out into the big wide world. We waited for these days for so long and they pass by so quickly. We cherish them and you.

With love,
Your mama

Thursday

Thursday was a great day. Our dear boy pooped without an assist from mom (yay for no prune juice!) AND took two long naps during the day! For the last several weeks he has refused to nap during the day and has had issues pooping (oh my goodness) and it was such a revelation to have a day that seemed normal. I hope he keeps it up!

Ah, Sleep

Monday night, dear sweet Charlie went to sleep at 9 pm and woke up at 1 am to feed. He went back to sleep by 2 am and didn't wake up until 6 am to eat. It was the first night he only woke up once to eat and it was the best night of sleep I've had since before he was born. Ah sleep!

Last night we had dinner with my brother, SIL, their kids and my mom. Charlie ate at dinner time (7 pm) and took 2 oz of pumped milk on the way home. He slept through a diaper and clothes change at 10 pm and didn't wake up until 3 am for his middle of the night feed. I was soaked in milk (straight through the extra absorbent breast pads and my tank top) but it was well worth it for sleep, ah glorious sleep! After he ate for 15 minutes I was still able to pump 3 oz.

So excited to see how long he sleeps now!

And I wonder if this makes up for not sleeping at all during the day. That boy hates a nap and fights it more than any tiny baby I've ever met. But maybe he makes up for it at night???

This whole mothering thing is complicated.

Eight Weeks

I can’t believe how fast time flies. And how little else I get done in a day other than feeding and caring for my child. I rarely sit down at the computer these days with more than one hand free. I don’t shower regularly, and my house looks like a dust bunny colony.

But the boy, oh my. He’s a joy and one of the biggest challenges I’ve ever had. Being his mother is everything I hoped it would be and sometimes the most natural thing in the world. It is absolutely who I was meant to be and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Some nights when I pick him up to feed him in the dark, I can feel that his body is heavier than when I laid him down three or four hours before. It is then that I wish I could stop time and just love the little boy that he is. He is so his own person already – with distinct likes (being held in an upright position, being with mommy at all times, hanging out in the circle of my maternity boppy, clean pants at all times, sucking on his hands, snuggled up in the moby wrap) and dislikes (dirty diapers, bathing, his car seat, having clothes put over his head, waiting to eat, having his nose cleaned, spitting up and sometimes pooping). His smiles light up my world and his cries break me. He can hold his head up and look around at the world around him and it’s so fun to try to figure out what has caught his attention.

He is a breastfeeding champ and I’m thrilled we are still at it despite a few hiccups (I had a fever and the beginnings of mastitis). He mostly sleeps in his bassinet now that I know he will sleep almost anywhere if he can smell me. So every night we tuck my day’s t=shirt into his co-sleeper and out he goes. The trick from the leader of my mom’s group also works when I desperately need a shower!

He enjoys being out and about as long as he gets to eat whenever he wants and gets clean diapers whenever he needs them. This allows us to take him with us as we go about our life – trips to Target and out to eat. I even nursed him while shopping at Target – the boy was safely wrapped in the Moby, with boobs and all out of view of anyone who might catch a glimpse of us. I was so proud of myself that day!

Sunday we all needed a break for our house and the heat so we took a trip to the beach and put his tiny toes in the ocean for the first time. What a thrill for me – he didn’t cry and was just amused by it all. Afterwards he napped for almost an hour in the baby.bjorn as we walked along the coast. Bliss!

I just realized I still haven’t finished my birth story. I must get that down on “paper” before the details are lost to me forever. Soon. Until then, more pictures of our sweet boy.

Home (Almost) Alone

Today is hubby’s first day back at work and two hours in, nothing bad has happened. I woke up Charlie to change his diaper and feed him just after hubby left at 7 and he’s been sleeping since. I actually brushed my teeth, made the bed, got dressed and made breakfast. I had leftover strata and coffee out on our deck while Charlie napped in his bouncy seat. Makes me feel very fancy. Next up is folding all the laundry I did while I was up feeding him overnight.

The last few days have been so hectic! The chaos goes all the way back to Thursday. Hubby and I had chiropractic appointments at 11 am and it was a challenge to get us all dressed and out of the house but it was well worth it – I needed an adjustment so badly after spending 8 night sleeping in a hospital bed and then 10 days nursing.

After that we came home and napped. Hubby wasn’t feeling well and it was starting to freak me out. The night before Charlie was born, he felt funny and had a nurse check his BP. It was 150/110. It remained high throughout our stay in the hospital. On Thursday he added chest pain, nausea, and fatigue (well that one maybe doesn’t count) to his list of woes. I forced him to call his doctor and get in to see her ASAP. We went that evening and his pulse was 130. Bp was still high. The doc went over his situation and recommended mood stabilizers to help him deal with the anxiety of our new life but he already takes one to prevent his migraines. I pushed to treat the BP now and let the anxiety work itself out as we get settled in as a family. The doc agreed and that night hubby had his first restful night of sleep in 12 days. Since then, his whole body seems better – less tense and more rested. What a relief!

Friday we had a well baby visit and it went really well. After one visit to a non-HMO pedi we went back to what was familiar and are so glad we did. The HMO we use is huge and bureaucratic but they also have great systems in place. Their newborn clinic is all nurse practitioners and you can come in whenever you want to check on your baby. The nurses did a feed and weigh session and were totally proud of us when it showed that he was getting one ounce on each side in a ten minute feeding session. Woohoo!

Yesterday was unexpectedly good. I invited my family to come up for brunch at our house with my ILs and my mom and younger brother took us up on the offer. After a hectic Saturday, it had disaster written all over it. But I nipped it in the bud. At 7 am I fed the baby and convinced hubby to get out the stroller so I could walk to the grocery store for supplies for our favorite egg strata. He didn’t want us to go alone, so even though he was still half asleep, he came with us. It was a lovely 10 minute walk in the cool morning air to the store, and we loaded all the groceries in the basket of his stroller for the walk back. The best baby ever slept the whole time! I can’t wait to do it again!

Once we put the groceries away, we gave Charlie his second bath. He disliked it just as much as the first, but at least his hair got clean and he smelled good. I dressed him up and put him in his bouncy seat while I made my casserole. Once that was ready for the oven, I fed him before hopping in the shower. Our parents arrived and we sat down to a really lovely breakfast – fruit, pastries, the strata, coffee, Oj. All very yummy. A few hours later, my brother and his family showed up for the second shift bearing all the fixings for a yummy lunch. Our neice Maddie got to meet Charlie and she was just so good with him – she sat and held his hand for ten minutes while her daddy cradled him. And then she did this piggy went to market on his toes with my mom. All so lovely!

We ended up spending the whole day with our families, taking a million pictures and just loving on our boy.

After our company left, hubby and I took a nap before tackling the filthy house. He did dishes while I did laundry, swept and mopped the floors. The house looks better than it has in months!

I feel fantastic and am so excited that this is how our lives have turned out. I could get used to the bliss.

**Before I could post this, baby went a little nutty. He cried and nursed and cried some more for almost two hours before falling asleep. I got desperate and stripped us both down and did skin to skin and just let him suckle until he fell asleep. Oh sweet sleep.

I suppose the honeymoon had to end sometime, right?

Home

Today was our first full day home and it was wonderful. Charlie ate like a champ. He slept when he wasn't eating or peeing or pooping. Hubby went out this morning and brought me a yummy breakfast and coffee. My mom came to visit and watched me feed him and changed his diapers as soon as he stopped suckling long enough to breathe. Hubby went out and got us groceries and fresh fruit. I got to nap. We made dinner together while hubby held him in his sling.

The lion cub is more beautiful than I imagined. I feel like I've known him forever. He is my boy and I am his mother and despite a lot of other issues (jaundice requiring a night under lights in the nursery, high bp for me requiring more meds, and leg swelling so bad it makes it tough to walk), these days are among the happiest of my life.

Update and Questions

Today's appointment went well and we walked out really excited. The lion cub's fluid is good, he is moving well, his NST was good and my bp is holding steady. Our regular OB is back and we are thrilled to have him. We went over all the stuff that happened while he was gone and he was thankful that we held out until he returned. He decided that it was time to set a plan and a date! So unless we go into labor on our own this week, I will be induced early next week, at around 38.5 weeks. He checked my cervix and it is soft and about 1/2cm dilated which was great news to me. I was scared that he would check and it would have no changes and that would suck given the 36 hour contraction filled saga of last week. I wasn't expecting much and I know it doesn't mean much but I wanted some change to show for all the hard work. So in 7 days or less we'll meet our boy. Thank God.

Cecily tagged all of her readers to do this little exercise and it seemed fun and I need things to keep me occupied while we wait for this little boy to come. So here are the five most character-defining things that have happened to me in my life:

1. My parents divorce. I’m not sure when my parents marriage started failing, I just know that it did. I remember the years of fighting and manipulation and lying. I remember how often my dad found things to do outside our home so that he wouldn’t have to deal with my mother. I remember her doing things she knew would upset him, just because she could. I know that when he sat us down and told us he was moving out, I was relieved. The years after it were tough – money was even tighter and became part of their ongoing tug of war. It sucked. And like Cecily, I had some serious daddy issues when it came time to date. Thankfully I dealt with them early (by the time I was 21), and my relationship with my dad recovered. But those years completely shaped who I would become.
2. Developing a chronic illness while in high school. I got sick in the middle of my freshman year of high school and struggled for almost a year without a proper diagnosis. By December of my sophomore year I was so sick I missed two weeks of school. That finally got the attention of my family and my aunt clued my dad in to what it was (she had it too) and I was finally diagnosed and got the treatment I needed. It was a scary time. Ulcerative Colitis is no walk in the park. The thing that is still so surprising to me, even almost 20 years later, is how uninvolved my parents were in my care. I went to all my appointments alone. They never became involved in my care, even when I was a minor living at home. It was totally up to me to take care of my health and stay on top of my disease. When my brother developed the same disease just over a year ago, my whole family was involved and wanted to know what was going on and how he was doing on a daily basis. He certainly was sicker than I ever have been but by the time he got sick he was almost 30 and married with a child. The contrast reminds me how far my family has come since the years just after my parents divorced (when they were both so self involved).
3. Moving to DC to do an internship and staying for five years. After my sophomore year of college I took an internship 3,000 miles from home for the summer. I knew two people in DC – both of whom were my bosses – and I had no money and no real plans on where I would live. I was so naïve that I wasn’t even scared. That first job changed the whole course of my life, introducing me to people and places that would have been to far out of my world for me to even imagine. That first job led to all of the rest of the ones I’ve had in the 13 years since. After the internship, I got a volunteer gig on a campaign. My manager there got me my second job, and the boss from that job introduced me to my current boss. One little internship has kept me gainfully employed for a long time in a field I enjoy.
4. My husband. Meeting my husband, getting to know him, loving him, it has been a dream come true. He is everything I hoped to find in a mate and his love makes me a better person. I’m lucky that no one else saw him for the gem that he is before I did.
5. My desire to be a mother. I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I made choices in my life based on that desire. I took jobs that were less stressful so that when the time came I would have time to be at home with my kids. I moved back to CA so that when I had kids they would be near my family. When it was time for hubby and I to TTC, I worked at it from the very beginning. It was a long road, longer than I hoped or imagined, but there was never a day when I doubted that it was what I wanted and what I was meant to be.

Still going

We had a nice long conversation last night with our doula and she suggested warm milk or a half a glass of wine and sleep. So that's what I did. I slept until about 4 am and then was up for a few hours, contracting some with bathroom breaks in between. The super fun frequent bowel movements were the tip that this might in fact be the real thing. Contractions have been continuous but not regular since this morning. They've changed some too -- more radiating than focused like they were last night and less defined which I'm not so happy about. The baby continues to move and shift as if he is trying to get into position which cracks me up. And I swear I can feel my cervix changing and my pelvis opening. Even if it is my imagination I'm holding onto it until proven otherwise.

This morning the goal is fluids, rest, protein, and more rest. We had a prearranged appointment with the doula at 5 pm so we'll get a better sense of where we are then.

The beginning?

I’ve been having contractions since 4:40 pm this afternoon. The first one lasted for about 4 minutes and was followed about 10 minutes later by another that lasted about 90 seconds. Things quieted down for a bit and have been off and on for about 4 hours. Alternating between long contractions and short 30 second ones. Some about 10 minutes apart, others about 35 minutes apart.

We’ll see where this goes.

Where did the time go?

I’ve been at home on disability for six weeks. When it started I was terrified. I wasn’t ready for him to come and he certainly needed more time in the womb. I made a list then of all the things we still had to do and gave myself little milestones (get to my shower pregnant, make it to 34 weeks, still be pregnant when my doc gets back from vacation) and had plans for all sorts of outcomes. I’m so thankful that I’m sill sitting here pregnant and I realized this weekend how much we managed to accomplish even with my limited activity and stamina.

• I had my shower and was well enough to sort through all the generous gifts, return the duplicates and get the rest of the stuff we really needed.
• I washed at least a half dozen loads of baby clothes, sheets, blankets, towels, and burp cloths.
• I knit him a four hats and a blanket.
• I finished all my thank you cards.
• We organized his room and got it all ready for his arrival.
• We had his car seat installed and inspected.
• I set up all our bills and finances so that I don’t have to think about it for a few more months.
• I sorted through our medical bills and submitted claims for reimbursements.
• We packed (and unpacked and repacked) our bags for the hospital.
• I read three books on baby care, breast feeding and how to have the happiest baby on the block.
• I gave myself a mani/pedi (which was an incredible feat!)
• I made hubby and I pouch style slings to wear the lion cub when he comes home.

I’m amazed every day at the physical changes my body continues to go through. Up until last week I was feeling good – sitting, standing, walking, laying down were all still done with ease and no pain. My belly is large and my boobs larger but otherwise I was feeling great. I even remarked at about 35 weeks that I was surprised I still felt so good. Of course the very next week, all sorts of late pregnancy things hit with a vengeance. I can’t sleep for more than an hour at a time even though I’m exhausted. My hips and back ache all the time. I have killer heartburn. My ribs ache. I’m counting down the days until he is an outside baby and my body can start the long slow road back to normal. I’m ready to meet him and be his mommy.

Today’s appointment was good. My group B strep test was normal, baby passed his NST and his AFI was still near 7. The OB decided that we are good to go whenever labor comes. Yay! She wants me to get to a hospital quickly if and when my water breaks and she also said that we can go to our preferred hospital whenever the time comes. Otherwise it is two weeks or so of appointments and then an induction on the 4th of July. We are amazed daily that it is almost time to meet our child. He’ll be here soon, very soon. And we will finally be a family.

Still Pregnant

Cliff notes version: Lion cub’s AFI was above 7 all week and his growth scan showed he is right on track. Hoping this week brings more of the same and that we hold out until my OB is back from vacay on the 23rd. Thirty-six weeks and counting….

Last week was rough. I developed a nasty nasty cold on Sunday just as it got hot again here. Highs in the 90s is no fun on any day but is definitely worse when you can barely breathe. Tuesday’s check-up was fine – he was lazy for the first 30 minutes on the NST and had to repeat it to pass but pass he did. His AFI was still up over 7, which is great (it hovered under 7 for 4 weeks and then dropped one day to 4.9 before rebounding). My BP was fine and I’ve managed to avoid all other signs of Pre-e. Yay! We did the swab for the group B strep and went on our merry way.

That night we met with our back-up doula. She is sweet and it was nice to get a chance to chat with her before I’m in labor and half naked. We will only use her if our regular doula, who is back from vacation but has a few other births lined up this month, is unavailable when the time comes.

On Thursday, my bestest friend brought me lunch at home which was one of the nicest things anyone has done for me since I’ve been mostly homebound. There is a reason we’ve been friends for more than 20 years! Holy crap that makes me feel old! LOL.

On Friday, Hubby had the day off so we treated ourselves to breakfast out before our big outing to the big hospital. I wasn’t feeling very good and soon discovered my BP was not good. It had crept up to 140/90. I took a second dose of my bp meds per doc’s orders and I was amazed at how much better I felt after it kicked in. I’m learning how important a good BP is to feeling well – when it’s too low, I feel like crap and when it is too high I feel like crap. Now as soon as I don’t feel right, I take it just to see where I am and it is usually the culprit.

Friday’s appointment went well. We had another growth ultrasound to make sure he is growing well as the high BP can cause intrauterine growth restriction. The techs estimate that he is 6 lbs 4 oz. at 36 weeks, which puts him right on target. His fluid was still above 7 (woohooo) and he passed his NST on the first try! The folks there were so nice – they were all so proud of me for making it this far – it’s been almost six weeks since we got the first signs of a problem and he is doing really well. What a relief!

To celebrate another week of successful gestating I made rice crispy treats, our new favorite snack. I thought they would be tough to make but ever since we discovered the secret (fresh marshmallows) a few weeks ago, we’ve been making them every few days. Thankfully, it hasn’t affected my weight gain!

Yesterday we had a quiet day at home so this morning we decided it would be nice to get out and have a nice breakfast together. We love the Cheesecake.Factory. Love it. Go there all the time for dinner. Today was our first time going for breakfast and it was lovely. Normally there are long lines to get a table but this morning, there was no wait (even on Father’s Day!) and we had a nice table outside in the shade. I really enjoy the quiet times with Hubby right now. Especially since we both know the days of quiet mornings for two are limited. We are anxious to meet our little man and are so looking forward to sharing our lives with him, but I do get the sense that this is the calm before the storm.

No Induction on Sunday!

We went to big university hospital yesterday for the scheduled NST and AFI and were thrilled that the lion cub passed both tests! Yay! The NST was a little tricky – the machine ran out of paper just before he had a great series of variations that would have given him a green light and then he went quiet for a while. He ended up passing when I moved to a new position and had a few contractions (real contractions!).

His AFI was up quite a bit and I was totally shocked! I kept telling myself that it might hold stable or vary by a few decimal points but that once it went down it wasn’t going to go back up. I was wrong. On Friday it was 4.9 and on Sunday it was almost 7! I was thrilled and so was our nurse. Our doc had them send us home for more bedrest and fluids and we see her on Tuesday morning.

I have a nasty cold and just did not want to labor in this condition – I’m miserable without added physical discomfort thank you very much. But we were prepared to do whatever needed to be done. The car was packed with all the stuff we thought we might need for labor and a few days in the hospital – clothes for DH and the baby, snacks, toiletries, cameras, laptop, etc. Four bags worth of stuff! It will be going with us to each appointment from here on out just in case.

When I called my mom to tell her that we were being sent home, she was disappointed. She’s not handling the tension well. I don’t know how to deal with her anxiety – we are doing everything we can right now to keep an eye on him and every day that he gets to stay inside is a good day for him right now, and if it is good for him, it is good for us. She isn’t seeing that in her anxiety to meet him I guess. I wish she could.

Today is a better day

Thank goodness for new days. I woke up this morning still upset about the situation we find ourselves in (doc on vacation, doula on vacation, hospital I don't like). I was stewing while DH slept and then I realized that this might be our last lazy morning before we become parents. That knocked me out of my funk. I cuddled up to DH. Hours later when it was time to get up for breakfast, all seemed right with the world again. The lion cub was moving well, DH and I were in sync and had decided it was all going to be okay.

The lion cub has kept up his movements today -- meeting his kick counts and throwing in lots of little nudges for good measure. I feel like he knows that it is what I need today.

I found out from a friend that our first choice doula is actually back in town on Monday afternoon. That sounds much more doable than Wednesday for some reason.

I also worked out an arrangement with a back-up doula who has agreed to help us even if we need to be induced on Sunday. We have never met her but she came highly recommended. Just knowing that someone who knows the birth process and knows the hospital will be by our side for the duration calms me. I feel confident that having her with us will help us have a better birth.

Given how well the baby has moved today and how good I feel, I think tomorrow will not be the day. I think they'll test us and send us home and we'll test again on Tuesday. Our bags are still packed but I really think we'll be home tomorrow afternoon and I'll still be pregnant. I hope I'm right!

Scared

I had the second of my twice weekly non-stress tests and amniotic fluid index checks today at the big university hospital. Neither went all that well. He flunked the NST until they gave him a buzz to the head. After that he woke up and passed but until today he had never needed the prodding to pass. His movement has definitely slowed the last few days and I was already worried. That did nothing for my nerves.

After that, they did his AFI and he basically flunked. His number has held steady at about 6.5 since May 6th (when we discovered it was low and I went on disability). Today it was 4.9. Big university hospital usually induces for anything 5.0 and under. My doc's partner decided to wait until Sunday, and have L&D check me again before deciding what to do.

I am nervous. Nervous that waiting isn't the right thing to do. I'm absolutely terrified something bad will happen to him between now (when I know he is alive) and Sunday. I have a call in to my doctor to discuss it but for now I'm just petrified.

And I'm sad. My regular OB is out on vacation until 6/23 which means his partner, who is lovely, will be managing our birth. And because it is so early, they want me to deliver at big university hospital instead of the quieter, calmer, more family friendly hospital where we planned to deliver. I switched docs 3 months ago to avoid delivering at big university hospital and I'm so not excited about it. I know they have a world class NICU but I hate it and their whole philosophy of care.

AND our doula is out until Wednesday.

Please send us some good vibes that he makes it okay to Sunday and beyond. And that it all goes well.

Blanket is done

blanket for baby
Originally uploaded by sarahewk

I finished knitting the blanket for the lion cub today. It feels so good to finish it and I love how it turned out.

In other news, Tuesday's appointment was good. His fluid was up supposedly (from 6.5 or so to 9) but I'm not sure I believe it. He did just okay on his NST -- he didn't want to stay on the monitors but what we did see was good. My bp was good and I still have no other signs of pre-e . Yay!

I'll be 35 week tomorrow and have my next appointment at the big university hospital tomorrow. Another AFI and NST as well as dopplers of his umbilical cord. I hope he does well. I have to stop by my office and pick up some forms to enroll the baby in our health plan.

Other than the blanket, this week was mildly productive. I got my disability started, found a back-up doula and a pediatrician.

Not much else new. Just hoping to hang out for another 2.5 weeks or so before we meet our little one.

Hair

The u/s tech also mentioned yesterday that he has hair. And that hair is floating in his amniotic fluid. I could see the fine fuzz on his head. I wonder whether it is a soft light brown like my own baby fuzz or if it will be dark like Scott's. Or even fair like my mom and Scott's dad...

She also confirmed that he is indeed all boy. A few online friends have had surprises lately and it made me second guess whether he was really a boy. I'm so attached to him as is that it would be tough to find out later that he isn't what I think he is. And all the boy clothes? Already washed and too cute to return.

Real Bedrest

For the last 3.5 weeks I’ve been off of work and on “rest.” My bp was up, my babies amniotic fluid was low and I was supposed to rest most of the day and drink a lot of fluids. I did as directed for the most part. I drank a lot of fluids, I rested a lot. But I also made trips outside the house other than to my doctor’s office – I was given permission to attend my shower and have meals out occasionally and I relished that. I’ve been doing a few things around the house – nothing heavy, just a few loads of little tiny clothes, putting away baby gear (again, all small). As soon as I feel the slightest bit weary, I rest.

Apparently that isn’t enough. I had the second of my twice weekly NST and AFI checks today. The baby kicked butt on the NST – meeting the goal (a variation of 15 in his heart rate twice in 20 minutes) in half the time. He moved well and sounded great. His AFI was just okay – to my untrained eye, it looks the same as it has looked at all of his checks for the last three weeks with small pockets of fluid scattered about his cramped quarters. But it had dropped by .2 points and my OBs partner she didn’t like the downward trend so no more activity. The technician relayed that if I didn’t stay in bed, I’d be having this baby soon. And boy did that get my attention.

So no more projects other than the blanket since I can knit while lying down. No more random trips to Target or out for dinner. Certainly no bathroom renovation. Even though I wasn’t going to do the work myself, we can’t give up the only bath/shower now since I can’t travel anywhere to bathe, even for a few days.

I really really want to make it to 37 weeks, full term. I really really want just three more weeks. He needs it. I need it. So 21 more days.

I woke up at my usual 4 am this morning and laid awaking thinking about how unprepared we are for a real baby. Sure we have most of the stuff, all washed and folded and put away even. But we had absolutely no books on child rearing, child care, etc. We had done no reading on immunizations or other issues that need decisions before the baby comes. So DH got me a bunch of books today on the way home. At least I can read in bed.

Big day today **Updated with pics**

Today was a big day. I had one of my now twice-weekly NST/AFI checks at my OBs office. The lion cub did well – he actually stayed on the monitors well this time! And his fluid is still about the same – 6.5. The doc from the big hospital recommended I get steroid shots for his lungs and my OB decided that since there is no harm in doing it he would have it administered today. He said he’d held off before now because babies of mom’s with pregnancy-induced hypertension (aka gestational hypertenstion or PIH) tend to mature faster than babies of mother’s who don’t have it. And given that the baby has been coping well under these conditions for three weeks now, he thought it wasn’t necessary. But since it doesn’t hurt anything we went for it. I have another NST/AFI on Friday afternoon, after our appointment for our car seat installation.

We had our hospital tour tonight. I learned some great things – each room has wireless telemetry so even though I have to be on bp and baby heart rate monitors while laboring, I’ll still be able to get up and be mobile to work through labor. Woohoo! I’ve been concerned about it since I learned we’d most likely be induced a bit early and even if I’m not they will want me to labor in the hospital instead of at home anyway. The hospital has a bunch of birth balls in all sizes for laboring moms. The beds are transformers and allow mom’s to labor in just about any position they want. All the delivery and recovery rooms are private. The rooms for vaginal birth are awesome. The recovery rooms for c-section moms, not so much (way way “cozier”). There is wireless internet access in the lobby but not on the maternity ward. So we can bring the laptop and I’ll be able to write posts and then Dh will have to take the laptop downstairs to post and send emails. It’s not ideal but it is totally doable.

In preparing-for-baby news, I was able to return dupes to both Target (with original receipts) and BRU and get $300 in cash and credits to use to get things we actually need (instead of the 2nd tub, 2nd mobile, 5 extra fuzzy blankets, etc). I did most of my shopping last week and got the last few items yesterday (breast pump parts, basket for dirty clothes, bottles, bath towels, cloth diapers for burp rags). It feels so good to be done shopping! Now I just have to finish organizing.

Part of the shopping involved upgrading our photo and video equipment. Our brand new digital SLR arrived today. Woohoo! It’s so great – I can’t wait to play with it tomorrow. We already had compatible lenses (including a telephoto lens) from our old non-digital SLRs. And we had the right size memory card since we bought one for my brother’s similar camera when we borrowed it for our trip to Paris in October. I’m so excited to have a camera that can handle low light and the need for a fast flash. We regularly miss pictures of the nieces and nephews due to low light and it makes me nutty. I’d go crazy if that happened with our own child.

Last weekend we also got a new video camera. I read about it in the NY.Times and it sounded perfect – pocket sized, no memory cards, disks or tapes and it does really well in low light. It is so small and so easy to use I can’t imagine getting anything else. And it was cheap! We used it at my dad’s 60th bday party last weekend and I was impressed. It has 2g of memory built in, enough for 60 minutes of video and when you are done, you plug it into your computer via the built-in USB. Love it!

I’m also keeping myself occupied with knitting and sewing – for our baby and the babies of my two friends and two SILs who are due at the same time as we are. I’ve cut out two knit blankets and just need to sew them up. And I’m working on embellishing the cloth diapers to make them a bit more fun.


Last week I started and finished a knit cap for our lion cub – I’ve made the same hat at least a dozen times for the kids of our friends and it felt so good to make one we get to keep. But I finished it so fast (waiting for just two appointments), that I had to find a new project to keep me busy while waiting. This came across my blog reader and it is just perfect. But I can’t afford $120 for yarn to make it and none of my local yarn shops carried anything as vibrant in a yarn that was machine washable and dryable (a must for a blanket for a baby I think), so I went to Michael’s and was surprised to find just what I needed.
I bought six skeins of Lion.Brand Wool-Ease Thick and Quick (pumpkin, butterscotch, grass, sky blue, fisherman, and taupe), needles and still spent half the cost of the original yarn. I started it tonight and it is knitting up quick and easy – perfect for waiting for appointments twice a week.

Since things are still looking okay three weeks after I started leave, I’m hoping I can make it four more weeks at least. Partly because my OB is on vacation for two weeks in mid-June and partly because I still have so many little things to make and do before he gets here. And I really want him to be a Cancer (like his dad) so he can wear the super cute onsie we got him at the Gap when we found out he was a boy. I’m greedy like that.

33 weeks

This week has been hectic, especially considering I’m not working. Tuesday I had a weekly NST and AFI check and all was well with the lion cub. The NST was a little tough – he didn’t want to stay on the monitor and it took us a long time to get what we needed.

On Wednesday, the lion cub was a little sluggish but met his twice daily kick count quotas. At 3:30 am on Thursday I woke up to pee and had vertigo so badly I couldn’t sit up, much less stand up or walk to the bathroom. It continued until about 6 am. The baby normally wakes me up at 4 am with lots of movement but he was quiet. Which does nothing to calm a nervous mama. DH got me orange juice at 6:30 and he obliged with his required 10 kicks.

DH and I were still nervous so we called my doc and they wanted me to come in at 2:45. We did another NST and it was much better than the one on Tuesday. The docs were both running late – they were doing a c-section (boy girl twins that were a result of IF treatment) – so Dh and I took a break and got some ice cream and ended up finding the BornFree bottles we wanted at Whole Foods.

Anyway, the docs discovered that my bp had responded too well to treatment and was now too low. The lower BP was apparently lowering what he was getting through the umbilical cord, which was thought to be causing his decreased movement. We worked out a treatment plan to find a happy medium – test BP three times a day. If it dips to 100/70 or below, skip mythldopa for the day. If it is 140/90 twice, six hours apart, take the second dose. Otherwise I am to stick with one dose each day.

Today I was back on the Penninsula for a growth scan. The kind folks at the fetal diagnostics center said he looks good – all measurements where in line with his gestational age and now weighs almost 5 lbs now. Yay! His fluid is the same as it has been for over two weeks, 6.7. His umbilical cord pressure also looks good. The doc there decided they would like me to come see them once a week for AFI/NSTs in addition to the one a week visits and AFI/NSTs at my Obs office. So from here on out we’ll be getting twice weekly scheduled checks. All the driving (25 miles each way to each appointment) is a drag but the peace of mind is worth it. The hospital OB also thinks I should get steroid shots soon – like at my next appointment. I guess we’ll see about that on Tuesday.

My ILs are coming for a visit tomorrow. I had to let them know I’m not up to my usual amount of activity or hosting capabilities but it will be nice to see them anyway.

So, we are hanging in there. And he’ll be here before we know it. It still feels like a fantasy. Even though I get to see him at least twice a week.