Sorry I can’t seem to get it together to post more often. I have a million things racing around my head, and I often think, oh I should post that. And then life gets in the way.
I had a wacky weekend.
A dear friend, a woman from a local message board, and a fellow stirrup queen, adopted a baby girl last week. Her and her husband had been through several wrenching years of…crap. Some hope, though always followed by loss, way too much loss for two sweet people. For anyone. They started the domestic, private adoption process this summer and their baby girl was born last week. They are home settling in, happy as can be. Mutal friends decided to put a care package together for them and it sounded like the perfect opportunity for me to get back to my sewing machine. So I spent Saturday personalizing two little itty bitty onsies and making up a simple, coordinated fleece outfit – pants and little jacket. My dear sweet hubby was practically in tears looking at the tiny soft goodness.
Saturday afternoon we got a call from hubby’s parents asking oh so innocently if we wanted to have dinner with them. They live 400 miles away and were “in the neighborhood” (really over 100 miles away) for a family funeral on Saturday, and we were expecting to host them on Sunday at our house for an overnight visit (yes on a work night). Instead, they had driven over the mountains and through the woods to have dinner with us. They didn’t call until they were already halfway to our house. There was no way to say no since we rarely get to see them. So we went to a funky Chinese place for dinner and then they turned around and drove 100 miles back to their hotel to sleep. They were back at our house by noon on Sunday.
The visit itself was nice. It is always nice to see them, especially when they visit us. It means so much to my hubby for them to see our house and know that he is happy. SIL and her 2 year old were with hubby’s parents on the visit and that was challenging. He is very active and our house is not kid proof (why should it be when we don’t have kids?). Our solution was to take him to a nearby park and for the most part it worked. It wasn’t until dinner that things went a bit south (he wants to eat like a dog, stand on furniture and stay up past my bedtime). Ah, the joys of not being a child’s parent.
This week, my plan is to finally tackle and finish the baby gifts I have planned for my brother and SIL’s baby girl, due next week. A little tiny hat, knit just for her, is almost finished. Two others, knit on our trip, are too big for a baby. Next up, a few decorated onsies especially for her, and a very pink sleep sack. Then I need to tackle all the Christmas gift and decoration sewing on my to do list.
As for progress on the baby front, there is none. Still waiting for AF, have absolutely no idea when she will show. I hit zero around the week of October 5th and finally stopped spotting on October 17th. Seems like she should be here any time in the next ten days. Any ideas on when or what to expect?
Showing posts with label ttc. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ttc. Show all posts
Monday, November 5, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Home Again
I’ve been home for a week and couldn’t decide what I wanted to say on my blog so I said nothing at all. I’m sorry, that isn’t very good blogger etiquette.
The trip. What to say about the trip? It was lovely. And just a little insane (bad laundry experience and a transit strike will do that). And I really hope it wasn’t a once in a lifetime thing. There were still so many incredible things left to see and do and taste that I can’t bear the thought that we’ll never go back.
I came home sad, as I posted in the Lushary on Monday. A little sad that the vacation was over, but more sad that I had to come back to my life. The life where I miscarried in September. The life where we’ve been trying for so damn long to have a baby. The life where my SIL is due with her oh so precious girl (after two boys) in a matter of weeks. My imperfect, slightly depressing life. A life without the promise of a much needed vacation. Our trip has been my distraction and motivation since February. It’s what I spent most of my day dreamy hours on. What now?
Anyway, the trip itself was lovely (did I already say that?) and a little bittersweet (which I’ll explain later). I have pictures to share and I know you all will forgive anything if I share pictures, right? Keep in mind when viewing that these pages were created to share the trip with our families, including DH’s family who live several hundred miles away and are two things – serious travelers and serious picture people. They have taken at least 6 trips to Europe in the 6 years we’ve been together and have the piles of photos to prove it. It was my way of being one of them.
The photos don’t quite do it all justice. We laughed a lot and smooched a lot and really enjoyed the adventure of being together in someplace different. We’re big Amazing Race fans, and have been watching it in reruns for months. We took turns narrating the trip as if we were Phil, as in “In this leg of the race, teams must exit the airport and find their way to the destination using only public transportation. Who will reach their destination first?” and a lot of “In this detour, teams must choose between two similar tasks – taking the bus or the metro to get to the Louvre.” Every time something would get a little boring or tense (such as when we were a little lost on occasion), one of us would break out the words of Phil and we’d both be cracking up.
On our last night in Paris, we celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary with a fancy dinner a few blocks from our hotel. I can’t believe four years have passed since we stood in front of all of our friends and family and tearfully pledged to spend our lives together, good or bad. Whenever I think about it now, I think about how innocent and naïve we were then. On that day we dreamed of the children who would someday come. We’d already chosen their names and often referred to them as our pretend children, Grace and Charlie. So much of what we chose to do that day revolved around the stories we wanted to tell them someday.
It’s so darn hard to watch each year pass and not know when we’ll get to meet them. We’ve been waiting all this time to be the people we thought we’d become – parents.
When we got married we agreed to wait to TTC for a year to give ourselves time to get settled before starting a family. The year passed and we were conflicted about TTC or traveling a bit. I decided the only place that I’d want to see first was Paris. As the discussion evolved, I decided that having children was more important to me than traveling the world so we started TTC as planned that winter. Years of anguish followed. Last winter I decided I’d temporarily had enough of the darkness and we took a break. The break led to a vacation, which led us to Paris. Going there was my consolation prize. Some moments were tough to enjoy knowing that if things had just gone another way, I’d be at home with my kids.
Being home means I have to decide what to do next. How long do we try on our own before going back to the RE? Now that our insurance has changed, which RE? And how much testing do we do, knowing that there is a lifetime cap of $5K staring us in the face? How am I going to cope when the new niece arrives in a few weeks? How am I going to get through the holidays, including hosting Christmas?
Fun and games as my grandmother would say.
The trip. What to say about the trip? It was lovely. And just a little insane (bad laundry experience and a transit strike will do that). And I really hope it wasn’t a once in a lifetime thing. There were still so many incredible things left to see and do and taste that I can’t bear the thought that we’ll never go back.
I came home sad, as I posted in the Lushary on Monday. A little sad that the vacation was over, but more sad that I had to come back to my life. The life where I miscarried in September. The life where we’ve been trying for so damn long to have a baby. The life where my SIL is due with her oh so precious girl (after two boys) in a matter of weeks. My imperfect, slightly depressing life. A life without the promise of a much needed vacation. Our trip has been my distraction and motivation since February. It’s what I spent most of my day dreamy hours on. What now?
Anyway, the trip itself was lovely (did I already say that?) and a little bittersweet (which I’ll explain later). I have pictures to share and I know you all will forgive anything if I share pictures, right? Keep in mind when viewing that these pages were created to share the trip with our families, including DH’s family who live several hundred miles away and are two things – serious travelers and serious picture people. They have taken at least 6 trips to Europe in the 6 years we’ve been together and have the piles of photos to prove it. It was my way of being one of them.
The photos don’t quite do it all justice. We laughed a lot and smooched a lot and really enjoyed the adventure of being together in someplace different. We’re big Amazing Race fans, and have been watching it in reruns for months. We took turns narrating the trip as if we were Phil, as in “In this leg of the race, teams must exit the airport and find their way to the destination using only public transportation. Who will reach their destination first?” and a lot of “In this detour, teams must choose between two similar tasks – taking the bus or the metro to get to the Louvre.” Every time something would get a little boring or tense (such as when we were a little lost on occasion), one of us would break out the words of Phil and we’d both be cracking up.
On our last night in Paris, we celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary with a fancy dinner a few blocks from our hotel. I can’t believe four years have passed since we stood in front of all of our friends and family and tearfully pledged to spend our lives together, good or bad. Whenever I think about it now, I think about how innocent and naïve we were then. On that day we dreamed of the children who would someday come. We’d already chosen their names and often referred to them as our pretend children, Grace and Charlie. So much of what we chose to do that day revolved around the stories we wanted to tell them someday. It’s so darn hard to watch each year pass and not know when we’ll get to meet them. We’ve been waiting all this time to be the people we thought we’d become – parents.
When we got married we agreed to wait to TTC for a year to give ourselves time to get settled before starting a family. The year passed and we were conflicted about TTC or traveling a bit. I decided the only place that I’d want to see first was Paris. As the discussion evolved, I decided that having children was more important to me than traveling the world so we started TTC as planned that winter. Years of anguish followed. Last winter I decided I’d temporarily had enough of the darkness and we took a break. The break led to a vacation, which led us to Paris. Going there was my consolation prize. Some moments were tough to enjoy knowing that if things had just gone another way, I’d be at home with my kids.
Being home means I have to decide what to do next. How long do we try on our own before going back to the RE? Now that our insurance has changed, which RE? And how much testing do we do, knowing that there is a lifetime cap of $5K staring us in the face? How am I going to cope when the new niece arrives in a few weeks? How am I going to get through the holidays, including hosting Christmas?
Fun and games as my grandmother would say.
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