Big News, not BFP big, but still big

I got great, surprising news today and I’m so excited about it I feel like a new, different person. My employer is changing insurance plans and one of the new options is a plan that includes some coverage for IVF. I’m shocked and thrilled and more excited than I have been in years.

Scott and I have been TTC since January 2005 and did a full year of treatment (8 medicated cycles, 6 with IUI) before realizing a year ago we needed IVF. We started the process and chose a doctor but we never completed all the lab work or signed up for a cycle because we didn’t and don’t have the money to pay for it. It has eaten away at me every single day for the last 18 months (when I first realized drugs and IUI alone weren’t going to fix it). Every single day I’ve worried and stewed and cursed the gods about it. I’ve cried a million tears about it. We decided along the way that I would borrow the money from my 401K to pay for it but since making that decision I have stalled and delayed. It just didn’t feel right. Before we ever started IF treatment I decided I wouldn’t do IVF because it felt like too big a gamble with our future. When I realized it was the only way to get pregnant I changed my mind but the gambling our future thing gnawed at me.

Until today. I was ready to skip open enrollment and stick with our reliable, cheap HMO. Then I hear a rumor about chiropractic benefits under the new plan and decided I should investigate, hoping it would save us a few thousand dollars a year. By the time it is all said and done, I think in one twelve month period the new plan will save us about $15K. We’ll get some coverage for IVF, coverage for chiropractic care, plus acupuncture and the special nutritionist my IVF doc recommends.

Once I realized what switching would mean for us, and for our future, I sat at my desk and cried. I prayed and dreamed about the day that we’d be able to do IVF and not go broke. I didn’t think it would come. I was starting to daydream about not doing it and moving on with adoption. I was doing okay and had put off thinking about it or doing anything until after our trip to Paris (booked using miles) in October.

Instead I need to quit caffeine ASAP and get an appointment with my doc for September. I hope and pray this is the year we get our Christmas miracle.