Scared

I had the second of my twice weekly non-stress tests and amniotic fluid index checks today at the big university hospital. Neither went all that well. He flunked the NST until they gave him a buzz to the head. After that he woke up and passed but until today he had never needed the prodding to pass. His movement has definitely slowed the last few days and I was already worried. That did nothing for my nerves.

After that, they did his AFI and he basically flunked. His number has held steady at about 6.5 since May 6th (when we discovered it was low and I went on disability). Today it was 4.9. Big university hospital usually induces for anything 5.0 and under. My doc's partner decided to wait until Sunday, and have L&D check me again before deciding what to do.

I am nervous. Nervous that waiting isn't the right thing to do. I'm absolutely terrified something bad will happen to him between now (when I know he is alive) and Sunday. I have a call in to my doctor to discuss it but for now I'm just petrified.

And I'm sad. My regular OB is out on vacation until 6/23 which means his partner, who is lovely, will be managing our birth. And because it is so early, they want me to deliver at big university hospital instead of the quieter, calmer, more family friendly hospital where we planned to deliver. I switched docs 3 months ago to avoid delivering at big university hospital and I'm so not excited about it. I know they have a world class NICU but I hate it and their whole philosophy of care.

AND our doula is out until Wednesday.

Please send us some good vibes that he makes it okay to Sunday and beyond. And that it all goes well.